Subscribe: YouTube | Apple Podcasts | Google Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher
While the world was in the throes of the COVID-19 pandemic, a quaint little show called Bridgerton dropped quietly into Netflix queues across the world, and then … set everyone’s hearts on fire. The phrase “I burn for you” is now forever ingrained in our collective consciousness. If you’re one of the 27 humans who somehow managed to miss Bridgerton, well … be warned that this post has some spoilers for both seasons 1 and 2. And also, go watch Bridgerton right now because it’s a beautiful spectacle with great actors. It’s pure escapism at its best.
In our podcast, we used Bridgerton as a jumping off point to talk about all kinds of fascinating money topics. We explored wealth inequality, which, surprise surprise, doesn’t feature much in this fantastical drama but was, in fact, a problem of epic proportions during real-life Regency Era and Victoria EranEngland. We also finally talked about one of our favorite topics: index funds! If you don’t understand why index funds are such wonderful investment vehicles, be sure to tune in and learn all about them. It might just change your life. Literally.
For this blog post, though, I want to focus on one of the topics we touched on briefly in the podcast: finding your purpose. In the show, some of the characters are struggling to find a purpose in life. And understandably so. When you want for nothing materially and have no need to work, it’s easy to feel listless and adrift in the world. Are these #richpeopleproblems that we should all roll our eyes at?
Uhhh … yeah. For sure. But they’re not only rich people problems.
Many people in life struggle with disliking their work, and they wish daily for something that made them happier, more fulfilled, and more themselves. Sure, most people don’t sit around all day eating bon bons and wishing for anything at all to do, but that doesn’t mean they don’t go to bed on Sunday nights with a pit in their stomach, yearning for a life in which they could wake up on Monday and do something they genuinely loved. The struggle to find something enriching and rewarding and downright fun to do with your days is universal – whether you’re a posh Regency era gentleman or a worker drone of the 21st century.
So how does one solve this greatest riddle of life? Who has the answer to the deep and ponderous question of: What am I doing here?
Well … you do.
At least, I’m counting on you to have it. You have it for me, right?
In all seriousness, you have the answer for you, and I have the answer for me. Or, rather, you have an answer for you and I have an answer for me. My humble take on this thorny question is that for the vast majority of people, there is no great “THE answer” for anyone. Take even some like Mozart who was born with a great talent for music and seemed to thoroughly enjoy playing and composing, he might’ve changed his mind at some point and decided he was done with the whole music thing for a while if he’d lived longer. Who knows? He did only live to be 35, after all. Who’s to say what new pursuit might’ve struck his fancy if he’d lived another 40 years.
Most of us, though, are not Mozart. Most of us don’t find something that we both love and are exceptionally talented at when we’re still toddlers. Many of us struggle all our lives to find something that lights us up inside and makes us want to get lost in that pursuit for hours on end.
So how do you go about finding something like that for yourself? Well, one generally good piece of advice when someone is hoping to find something is to start looking.
I can’t tell you how many times I have asked people what they do for a living, then followed up with “how did you get into that” and gotten this response back: “Oh, I just kind of fell into it.” This is how most people live. Things just happen to you and it opens a door and before you know it, you’re a few years into a job that you never set out to get, that you just stumbled into, and that maybe isn’t a great fit for you. Maybe it was the only place hiring at the time you were looking. Or maybe someone you knew had an “in” with this company and suggested you for the job. One circumstance led to another, and now you’re fully into this job.
Now, some really fantastic careers can be found this way. If luck is on your side, you could end up with a long and rewarding career that you never planned on and certainly never dreamed about. But most people spend more time at work than they do with their families – why would you trust so much of your time and life enjoyment to luck?
We can be choosy and intentional about our careers. There is endless information these days about what each job is like. Oh, and hey – did you know that jobs aren’t lifetime commitments?? You can try one on for size and see if you like it for a little while.
I think a lot of people get stuck in a “soul-searching” mindset when thinking about what career they really want. Searching your own mind and being honest with yourself about your strengths and weaknesses is great. It’s important. But it’s only the first baby step. You’ve got to research and talk to real human beings about what it’s like to work in their field. Find out about the cons lurking under the surface that you wouldn’t know about unless you talked to someone with experience. Make sure you can live with those cons. (Every job has them.) Let your friends and family know you’re searching, and ask for help. Ask for connections and take people out for lunch or coffee and learn about what they do.
Worst-case scenario, you find out something isn’t a great fit for you and get to cross it off your list and move on to something else that might be interesting. And in the process of all this, you get to know people, which always opens up more possibilities in life.
There’s an old joke about someone begging God: “Please, please, let me win the lottery!” And God responds: “Please, please, buy a ticket!” In the search for meaningful work, many of us fall victim to this mindset: just hoping something will fall into our lap without putting in real effort to go out and actually look for what we want. Lotteries are stupid, and a tax on people who are bad at math. But finding a joyful and meaningful way to spend your time on Earth is the farthest thing from stupid there is. So buy the goddamn tickets. Get out and search for what you want.